More NuLipper Questions

Hello Again, NuLippers!

And we have even more questions from you in this issue:

• David has Astrology on the brain
• Biki worries about growing her practise
• Harris asks if NLP beats Scientology

Enjoy! and keep sending in those questions.

Dr Nadia Woo

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David asks about Astrology:

Dear Nadia

I read somewhere on the net that a Professor Winkin compares NLP's association with Science to astrology's association to astronomy. Is this a good or a bad thing?

Yours, David Aytstone-Wate (aspiring NuLipper)

Dear David

Of course, it's a good thing, silly! Everybody knows that, like NLP, astrology "just works" - we don't know how, but it does! If it didn't work, why would they publish horoscopes in the newspapers every day? That's obvious, isn't it?

I know loads of people whose horoscopes came true. One of my girlfriend's horoscopes told her that she would move to a house with a large pole outside. Two years later she moved home and her neighbor was a short Latvian gentleman. It's not 100 percent, but I think you will agree that it is too close to call it a coincidence.

Yours mystically, Nadia

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Biki asks about growing her business:

Dear Dr Woo

Having qualified as a practitioner, I have been struggling to build up my business. It seems that people don't think my training very credible when it comes offering therapeutic interventions. Any advice from yourself, or other NuLippers would be gratefully received.

Yours, Biki N'yatoll (Newbie Prac)

Dear Biki

• Firstly - don't despair. Do some work on your own" stuff" using all of the amazing NLP tools at your disposal.
• Second - have you considered paying to be trained to Master Prac Level? The more money that we pump into the NLP community, the better off some of us will be. Remember (all together now!): "Don't break the chain"!
• Third - you have to go where the money is. Find some friendly, but clueless, people in the HR departments of companies within your operating radius. Find out if they use Myers Briggs - if so, they are a guaranteed pushover. They will lap up the NLP stuff and you will get a lucrative stream of revenue for years to come. If not, offer them a free taster session and be sure to demonstrate lots of swish patterns and pacing and leading, etc.

HR people love it that you can do lots of gimmicky little exercises in class, and really love the psychobabble too! Don't forget to reiterate to them that it was modelled on three experts in the 1970's.

Yes, since the psychotherapy field rumbled us years ago, gullible and ill-informed HR departments really are our financial saviours! They usually have big budgets which they have got to spend, they love rah-rah training, and nobody else in the company wants to talk to them enough to find out what they actually do and if it is effective.

Here's another relevant snappy phrase for all of you NuLippers, which should become a mantra: "Foller... the dollar!" (You could say 'follow' of course, but it's not as effective in my view. Use your NLP training, and see if you can understand why).

Yours entrepreneurially, Nadia

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Harris wonders if NLP would beat Scientology in a fight:

Dear Dr Woo

Which is better: Scientology or NLP?

Yours, Harris Bruegawen

Dear Harris

I am not sure that we would ever reach consensus on this. There will be as many opinions as there are New Age remedies!

Off the top of my head, though, here are some thoughts to ponder:

• Scientology is a bit long in the tooth - L.Ron (sounds a bit like Enron - coincidence?) Hubbard wrote his Dianetics stuff in the 50's. Ours came more than 20 years later, so we had a better range of mind-bending drugs available when our stuff was being created.
  
• Scientology is seen as a bit more "kookie", due to the religion, brainwashing, cult thing.
• Scientology has good front men, though: Tom Cruise, John Travolta (didn't you just love him in "Grease!"? - yummy!).
• NLP has its kookie bits too, but isn't as extreme (but if you also practice EFT and throw in some Reiki, you can really get that quotient up a few notches).
• Some NLP guys are doing some bizarre stuff, though. Even though it isn't part of NLP, I reckon that we get vicarious points for Remote Viewing, Shamanism, TimeLine Therapy®, Huna, etc.
• I think that we have better academic support: psychology and other departments in (proper) Universities are holding us up as a casebook example of Pseudo Science, with our wealth of platitudes, misconceptions and cult-like following. So, I think we sneak it on that one.
• The real ace up our sleeve, though, is that NLP was modelled on three experts in the 1970's. It's a tough one to trump.
  

Still, it's a thought evoking question. What do other NuLippers think? Please write in with your comments.

Yours enneagramatically, Nadia

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Letters - we get letters

Hi NuLippers

Already the letters are pouring in. In this issue we have letters from:

• Andrew - Scientific Validation (ugh?)
• Doris - Prac vs Master Prac
• Herbert - Are colleges stealing our business

Read and Enjoy - and keep those letters coming!

Dr Nadia Woo.

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Andrew is worried about tham thar 'scientists':

Dear Dr Woo

I am concerned that people are starting to ask difficult questions about NLP's "scientific validity" (whatever that means??). Any ideas for a killer answer?

Thanks
Andrew Flange (mPrac)

Dear Andrew

As I said in my introductory column, we much prefer to leave Mr Science at the door - discussions with that little fellow really get us nowhere. However, it is sadly becoming more the case that people just won't take our word for things. I am not sure when the rot set in, but Bandlermort doing remote viewing, together with others doing stuff like Huna and Shaman certainly hasn't helped (I mean, what's the freaking problem? Isn't NLP weird enough as it is?).

Anyway, here are some techniques which I have seen used to counter these annoying little killjoys:

• Tell them "hey - don't knock it until you have tried it yourself".
• Tell them "it works - I have loads of clients who have spent years in other forms of therapy and I fixed their problem in one session/10 minutes/with a single handshake" (or whatever).
• Warning: don't ever mention placebos, or get drawn into discussion about them.
  
• Point them to the mass of anecdotal evidence all over the internet.
• Minutely dissect every single word of the scientist lackey's prose, and use every fallacious argument you can think of to break down their will to live. (Remember, they are just indulging in an intellectual exercise but your very livelihood is at stake).
• Move the debate onto "Global Warming" and the "evidence" for that.
• Point them to other NLP providers' websites for more "evidence" (hopefully they won't bother following up).
  
• Contrast NLP with Freudian analysis (avoiding the fact that that was never accepted as a science either). At least NLP isn't about wanting to f*** your mother.
  
• Question the gaps in their "map" and suggest that they do some "reframing" pretty pronto.
  
• Make sure that you point them to the website of an NLP practitioner in "Harley Street" (I think that's a street in London, England, where Sherlock Holmes lived - anyway, it's really impressive, even if it's only rented on an ad hoc basis, by the day).
  
• Point out the obvious fact that only NLP Practitioners can do a proper test - scientists don't have the skills.
• Put the onus on them to prove that NLP doesn't work ("reverse burden of proof", I think the sad scientists call it).
• Make the point that experts like Erickson, Satir, etc were modelled by Bandler and Grinder (hopefully your adversary won't know that they didn't actually work with them, merely watched a load of video recordings - a bit like my teenage kids with YouTube).
  
• Don't get drawn into the debate - just insult them personally (I think that soccer fans call this "Playing the man, not the ball").
• Shift the argument onto how they are using Nominalisations, showing your superior grasp of linguistics. Change verbs to nouns and vice versa, and watch them flounder. Do you remember Clinton arguing about what the meaning of the word "is" is? - model yourself on that.
  
• Point out that nobody thought that electricity, sound recording, telephone line, light bulb, bumblebee dynamics would work and they were all proven wrong, so what does science know?
• Bring to their attention that politicians are using it to control us. That should shock them. You don't have to explain further or give concrete examples.
• Point out that there is no such thing as objectivity - everything is subjective, so nothing can be proven by scientists [we know that's not really true, of course - they'd better be doing some proper testing on the airplanes that I fly in].
  
• Then trot out Schrodinger's cat and Heisenberg's uncertainty principle - even though you don't really have a clue what they mean; even though they are irrelevant; even though it's science, which you don't believe in.
  
• Explain that NLP is beyond science, and that because of its special nature it can't be proven or disproven using scientific techniques (isn't that just great?!).

Phew - that seems like plenty to win with (I think I need a lie down now).

Above all, hold your head high and be proud that NLP put the 'Pop' in "Pop Psychology" and the 'Pseudo' in "Pseudo Science".

I hope that you NuLippers out there will be able to send in more suggestions, 'cos, don't forget: "science is our enemy!".

Yours holistically, Nadia.

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Doris asks about Prac versus Master Prac:

Dear Dr Woo
I am dithering over whether to just do Practitioner Training, or go for Master Prac as well. Please can you explain the difference?
Yours, Doris Queeg

Dear Doris
Typically $4000 (ymmv). My advice would be to go for all the NLP training you can afford. Remember: "Don't break the chain"!

I should draw your attention to safety precautions when you are undergoing any kind of NLP training. NLP works by reprogramming the neural networks of your brain, so be sure to drink plenty of water.

Yours hydratedly, Nadia.

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Herbert is worried about academia:

Dear Dr Woo

I have noticed that a number of colleges have started to offer NLP courses. I am concerned that they will cannibalise my business. At the moment it seems to be restricted to relatively "New (age?)" Universities such as Chestnut University, West Suspect University, Swindleford College, etc. Do you think that there is a risk that this could spread, even to Universities which people have heard of (e.g. MIT, Oxford, Harvard, etc.)?

Yours concernedly, Herbert G.E. Stalt (Cert MPrac Trainer)

Dear Herbert

Personally, I think that it is very unlikely. The more established colleges have a tradition of science (shudder - there's that word again, it just won't go away!) and a reputation to uphold, so are unlikely to give NLP breathing space in their prospectuses. Also, they are usually on a sounder financial footing, which means that they don't have to prostitute themselves.

I think what is more likely to happen is that those New (age) colleges will expand their offerings beyond NLP to include crystal healing, flower remedies, etc. - and a good thing too, in my opinion. As I see it, NLP benefits from a higher profile and we all get free advertising.

By the way, I can certainly recommend my alma mater, WingNut University (exclusively on the internet) if you want to buy an NLP-based PhD. I didn't even have to attend - they were suitably impressed with my "NLP Life Experience" and $12,557 payment to issue my doctorate immediately (further proof, as if it were needed, of NLP's academic credibility).


Yours donnishly, Nadia.

Introducing your NLP Agony Aunt

Welcome! I am Nadia Woo, your NLP Agony Aunt.

I am fascinated by NLP, and anything of similar academic rigor (e.g. TFT, EFT, TimeLine Therapy®, Healing Crystals, etc.). Heck, I even floated back down my timeline and got my parents to change my name from Ethel to "Nadia Lydia Phyllida" just before I was born.

My mission in life is to provide support to anybody that has spent, or is thinking of spending, their hard earned cash on NLP - "NuLippers", as I like to call them (hands off, Tad - I have that name TradeMarked!). This is my modest contribution to keeping NuLippers on the straight and narrow. It's important to me to ensure that nobody drops out of the family - as they say in chain letters and pyramid schemes "don't break the chain!" (or we will all be broke and have to get proper jobs, right?).

Hope to speak to you soon, and remember: "The map is not the territory" - and it's so true, isn't it fellow NuLippers?, otherwise Afghanistan and Iraq would have been a cinch!

Get sending those questions in now - but remember that we are not at home to "Mr Science"!

Nadia.

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